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Friday, October 8, 2010

Capstone, nails, and spiders, oh my!

This week, I made the nearly last minute decision to opt out of writing my capstone paper this semester. I felt an immediate weight lifted from my shoulders when I did so. There's just too much going on for me to get that paper done in god knows how many weeks are left this semester (rumor on the street is that we are halfway through next week -- eek!). Or at least, I couldn't have gotten it done without having some kind of freaky mental breakdown. So I'm going to put it off until next semester or next year. I'll probably approach my copyright professor about doing a capstone project under her supervision, and maybe I'll be able to stretch the project over a year instead of a semester. I'm thinking of doing research in fair use and fanworks, aka transformative works. But I don't even want to touch that shit this semester. So I feel much better having made that decision.

Today marks the third week that I have been free from biting my fingernails -- a habit I've tendered most of my life, save the 5 or so years from late high school and college where I actually quit the habit for a few years, though I always kept them cropped. I just randomly decided now that I wanted to cut it out again, so I got some fingernail polish to help remind me not to bite them and slathered that stuff all over my fingers. Some of it actually got on my nails. The first day I tried to keep my hands hidden from Ian, until he noticed and forced me to show him my left hand. "That doesn't look too bad," he said. "You should see my right hand," I replied. I am right-handed, so naturally I get more polish on the fleshy bits surrounding the nails of my right hand. He then proceeded to coach me on the proper method of painting my right hand: "You hold the brush still and move your hand against it -- don't you know how to paint your nails?" he said. "Do I look like the kind of girl who knows how to paint her nails?" I said. But I'm getting better at it, and my nails have more whites on them than I have probably ever seen. They kind of drive me nuts because I can't ball my hands into fists and shake them angrily at the world as comfortably as I would like to sometimes. But they look rather more normal now, and I like that. I shall try to keep it up.

There's a post-it note wedged between the pencils in my pencil-holding tin on my desk. It reads: "Probably a dead spider in here." I shot a spider on my ceiling with poison and it karmacally fell onto my desk, location yet to be determined. My best guess is that it fell into my pencil tin. I couldn't deal with it just then because, cruel though it may be, the poison takes a little while to work its magic, and the thing probably wasn't quite dead when it fell in there. I didn't want to find an angry spider with a last dying wish for revenge, so I decided the best thing to do was write myself a note so I will remember to look for it later.

These are the exciting adventures of Sra these days.

In more exciting news, we have plans to go downtown and get Doener Kababs this weekend. I am always happy when that is in my near future. When in Portland, one must so do.


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4 comments:

Zac said...

Making a fist, your palms will get used to it. Nails aren't that sharp; unless you sharpen them.

Sovknight said...

I stopped biting my nails when I was 9. That's the year I got an oral appliance in preparation for braces, and by function, it held my mouth slightly open an eighth of an inch or so, so it was physically impossible for me to bite my nails. Broke me of the habit, and I never reacquired it. These days, I keep my nails short, with no white whatsoever, so it wouldn't be an option even if I wanted to.

I don't know what a capstone paper is, but it sounds important. Not doing it isn't something that will hold you back, is it?

I think you are over thinking the spider thing. I know that fear is irrational, but why don't you just yank out the pencils, carry the holder to the window and dump it out? And who is to say the spider fell into the cup? Perhaps he is on the floor somewhere, or on your chair, or maybe he fell on the desk ans scuttled away. I think you should obtain a nice tarantula or something at the pet store, and keep it in a little aquarium. Then you could conquer your arachnophobia. :)

Sra said...

@ Broy: But my palms are so dainty and unblemished!

@ Sov: Capstone paper is a roughly 30 page legal research paper in the vein of a law review article that I must write before I graduate. It doesn't matter when I do it. I was trying to do it this semester at the same time that I am doing my other writing requirement, which consists of writing several short papers. It was too much with all my other classwork. As for my phobia, I am comfortable with it, and will allow it to make me do silly things since it doesn't harm anyone. I am tortured enough by the presence of spiders that I would never even consider having one as a pet. Also, my phobia intensifies in direct proportion to the length of a spider's legs, so tarantula is definitely out. ;)

Zac said...

Making a fist, your palms will get used to it. Nails aren't that sharp; unless you sharpen them.

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