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Thursday, October 1, 2009

Tremors

Wikipedia tells me that tremors -- an involuntary rhythmic shaking,
frequently of the hands -- may be exacerbated by stress.

This is good to know, because I thought maybe I've been drinking too
much caffeine lately, and I rather don't like that explanation.

I have tremors, likely thanks to genetics on my father's side. It's
most perceptible in my hands, particularly on my right side. It's not
usually very bad, but, there have been quite a few people in my life
who have noticed it without my mentioning the fact that I have it.
Usually they ask if I'm nervous, which, shy and quiet though I may be,
nervous I generally am not. I just shake.

When it's particularly bad, I feel it in my body like a pulse of
rhythmic energy. When it's not bad, I usually don't notice it unless
someone points it out, or I happen to hold both my hands in front of
my face and notice the discrepancy in stillness.

Lately it has been bad. I'm righthanded, so every time I reach for a
pencil, or hover my finger over the trackpad on my laptop, I see the
shake. I worry that maybe my classmates are seeing it and wondering if
I'm nervous about being called on in class. I'm not really. Sure, I'm
not keen on the socratic method, but after the sadistic questions I
just fielded in civ pro and contracts this week, I think I can fairly
say I'm not nervous about it. In fact, just today, I actually raised
my hand and VOLUNTEERED an answer in class. If you knew me from junior
high through undergrad, you would know this is unheard of for me.
Something to do with being called a know-it-all teacher's pet in
elementary school. Fine, then, I will introspect myself, if you can't
appreciate my participation. (Yes, I blame elementary school for much
of my social retardation.) But today, before I could even think about
it, or tell myself not to, my hand shot up in the air and I answered a
question. It was like someone else had taken over my body.

Maybe that's what the increased tremors are. I have been possessed by
a more self-assured person (at least intellectually speaking). Or
maybe it was just one comment in class and nothing to get excited about.

Maybe these increased tremors, that I feel pulsing through my body
even as I tap these letters out on my iPod, are just as wikipedia
says: stress-induced.

Maybe I ought to try to fit some yoga into my routine.

On a side note, if you've read this far, apparently the sentences I
write are too long (per critique on my first legal memo). What do you
all think? Is my syntax overly hard to follow in general? As always,
comments addressing this or anything else may be left anonymously.

I want to further disclaim this post by saying that I had two beers
before writing this. Two PORTLAND beers, mind. In Utah I could have
three beers and come away from it with a slight buzz and a lot of
bloat, but here I'm feeling it after half a pint. So I recognize the
fact that there is no organization and plenty of tangentialism here.
But that, my friends, is par for the course when you've been drinking.

7 comments:

heidikins said...

Firstly, I have never once read your writing and thought "Wow, this would be really legitimate and powerful if she'd just shorten her sentences." So, for what that is worth...

Secondly, my knee gets all jumpy and bouncy for no reason...which is a lot more noticeable and annoying than a hand shake...sigh. People must think I'm hopped up on drugs half the time or something. ;o)

xox

sov said...

They want you to write short sentences? You know what that does? It makes it sound like you can't complete a thought. It is weird. It is also hard to do. I'm struggling. It feels weird. I don't like this.

Jesus wept.

Enough of that crap. I think you write in a very understandable, pleasing way, but then again I am not your instructor. Perhaps being a lawyer means you have to be blunt and to the point, but that doesn't make sense either, because lawyers speak in a whole different language, which is in NO WAY blunt or to the point. I can't imagine why they would critique your writing this way.

As to the other topic: I never noticed any shakiness until we shot the video during our Mt. Olympus climb, and upon editing it later, I noted that all of your camera work had a Blair Witch/Cloverfield quality to it. No offense or anything.

This isn't something that gets worse over time, is it? If so, is there a treatment? Is it a nerve thing, or a brain thing? I never really noticed it unless you brought it up, so perhaps it's just not that serious.

Sra said...

heidikins: Bouncy knee, huh? Is this something that happens only when you sit, so you might look fidgety, or do you actually bounce while standing?

Sov: If you saw me now, I think you would notice my shakes without my pointing them out, because they are stronger, probably due to my heightened stress. I was relatively relaxed since you knew me, because I was done with school, and only working full time, which has its own stresses, sure, but you can kind of leave work at work, while you are a student all day long.

That camera has shake reduction too, but yeah, I pretty much can't shoot still video without a tripod ;)

People can have degenerative-type tremors, usually these are symptomatic of diseases like Parkinson's. But tremors do not have to be associated with such diseases, and they are frequently genetically-based, as I believe mine are. My dad has some shakes, and my brothers have them too, my older brother worse than I, and I probably worse than my near-age brother. Although, the way my shakes are now, I think I may be closing on the older brother.

As to sentences, I think varying sentence length makes for the smoothest reading. I think sentences that run several clauses together are to be avoided, but sentences that are merely lengthy, but clausally simple are ok.

Dena said...

I'm a nailbiter. Always have been. I credit nailbiting with allowing me to escape nearly every plague that has entered my house thus far. I stick my fingers in my mouth and don't even realize it. It's frustrating to me but I'm sure it's disgusting to watch. On top of that, I tend to get eye twitches when I'm stressed. During my trial, my eyes were so hard core I looked like I was winking at people. Total icebreaker, if you ask me.

Secondly, I'm a creative writer so I cannot judge your sentences from a legal/business writing aspect. As you can see from this post, I don't know how to shut up sometimes. Maybe I'll go stick my fingers in my mouth or something.

Amy said...

I shake too - a LOT. I was out at dinner with my husband, daughter and her husband the other night, and I was shaking so badly that if I rested my hand on the table the whole table would noticably shake. It is worst on my right side too and I am also right-handed. My doctor says that it is most likely a side-effect of one of the antidepressants I'm on. He said that he could prescribe beta-blockers to control it, but I haven't asked for that particular script yet as I am on so many others I just would rather not add another. It has gotten much worse latley, though, so I may give in and try beta blockers after all. It would be nice to eat a bowl of soup again without making a mess.

Sra said...

I too am a nail biter, and yet, I got my flu shot today. Eye twitches remind me of Amelie.

Interesting, tremors caused by medication. Mine aren't, but I think they can definitely be affected by what I eat or don't eat, and food and drugs, after all, both affect (not effect, will get to the explanation later) us chemically.

Amy said...

I shake too - a LOT. I was out at dinner with my husband, daughter and her husband the other night, and I was shaking so badly that if I rested my hand on the table the whole table would noticably shake. It is worst on my right side too and I am also right-handed. My doctor says that it is most likely a side-effect of one of the antidepressants I'm on. He said that he could prescribe beta-blockers to control it, but I haven't asked for that particular script yet as I am on so many others I just would rather not add another. It has gotten much worse latley, though, so I may give in and try beta blockers after all. It would be nice to eat a bowl of soup again without making a mess.

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