Wikipedia tells me that tremors -- an involuntary rhythmic shaking,
frequently of the hands -- may be exacerbated by stress.
This is good to know, because I thought maybe I've been drinking too
much caffeine lately, and I rather don't like that explanation.
I have tremors, likely thanks to genetics on my father's side. It's
most perceptible in my hands, particularly on my right side. It's not
usually very bad, but, there have been quite a few people in my life
who have noticed it without my mentioning the fact that I have it.
Usually they ask if I'm nervous, which, shy and quiet though I may be,
nervous I generally am not. I just shake.
When it's particularly bad, I feel it in my body like a pulse of
rhythmic energy. When it's not bad, I usually don't notice it unless
someone points it out, or I happen to hold both my hands in front of
my face and notice the discrepancy in stillness.
Lately it has been bad. I'm righthanded, so every time I reach for a
pencil, or hover my finger over the trackpad on my laptop, I see the
shake. I worry that maybe my classmates are seeing it and wondering if
I'm nervous about being called on in class. I'm not really. Sure, I'm
not keen on the socratic method, but after the sadistic questions I
just fielded in civ pro and contracts this week, I think I can fairly
say I'm not nervous about it. In fact, just today, I actually raised
my hand and VOLUNTEERED an answer in class. If you knew me from junior
high through undergrad, you would know this is unheard of for me.
Something to do with being called a know-it-all teacher's pet in
elementary school. Fine, then, I will introspect myself, if you can't
appreciate my participation. (Yes, I blame elementary school for much
of my social retardation.) But today, before I could even think about
it, or tell myself not to, my hand shot up in the air and I answered a
question. It was like someone else had taken over my body.
Maybe that's what the increased tremors are. I have been possessed by
a more self-assured person (at least intellectually speaking). Or
maybe it was just one comment in class and nothing to get excited about.
Maybe these increased tremors, that I feel pulsing through my body
even as I tap these letters out on my iPod, are just as wikipedia
Maybe I ought to try to fit some yoga into my routine.
On a side note, if you've read this far, apparently the sentences I
write are too long (per critique on my first legal memo). What do you
all think? Is my syntax overly hard to follow in general? As always,
comments addressing this or anything else may be left anonymously.
I want to further disclaim this post by saying that I had two beers
before writing this. Two PORTLAND beers, mind. In Utah I could have
three beers and come away from it with a slight buzz and a lot of
bloat, but here I'm feeling it after half a pint. So I recognize the
fact that there is no organization and plenty of tangentialism here.
But that, my friends, is par for the course when you've been drinking.