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Monday, June 1, 2009

I really would never eat some crusty hamburger out of a garbage can

I had a very unusual and unpleasant dream early this morning. In my dream, I was the first person to arrive at my office, which has only happened a handful of times in reality, because mornings and I do not particularly get along. After working for a few hours all alone, I decided to call my office manager and find out why no one else was at the office. She sleepily answered the phone, and I explained that I was at work alone, and wondered where everyone was, then I noticed that the clock read only 7:30. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I thought it was 11:30! I didn't mean to wake you."

We hung up, and I decided I might as well get back to work (seriously, how unrealistic is this dream?). At some point, I became hungry, and I rooted around in the kitchen for something to eat. Coming up empty, I noticed a hamburger with only one side of the bun on top of the garbage can. Funny, I hadn't seen that there before. I shrugged, picked it up, and began munching on it. Then I noticed that some other things around the office weren't quite how they were when I arrived, like an accordion door that partitioned off one room from another was slightly ajar where it had been closed minutes before, I was sure of it. So I got up to investigate and did a walk around of the office. I opened a door that led into the garage (our real office doesn't have a garage, but the office in my dream was actually my mother's house), and I saw that the garage door had been bent and torn as if someone had broken in.

At this point, I'm pretty sure one of those dun-dun-dun type of sounds played, so that all the viewers at home know that something serious and scary has just happened. I decided I didn't want to be in the office alone with an intruder, so I fled immediately through the hole in the garage door. Then I pulled out my cell and tried my office manager again, but it didn't go through. I suspected that my phone had been hacked, but, being characteristically stupid like you are in dreams, I dialed 411 and asked them to connect me to my boss. She answered, and I told her that I needed her help. I guess I could have just told her that someone had broken into the office right then and there, but I felt like we needed to have this discussion in person, so she told me she was at a conference at the train station and I could meet her there. I could have also called the police at this point, but once again: stupid.

I made my way to the train station and met some guy who seemed to know what was going on, and was sympathetic to helping me out. We went to the group that was gathered for the conference, and I saw my boss in the crowd. I waved at her and motioned for her to join us, a look of urgency on my face. She came over and I told her that someone had broken into the office, left a half-eaten hamburger in the garbage can, and hacked my phone.

Then we were in another place somewhere in the train station. Maybe something happened in between our meeting at the conference and our appearing in this room, but I don't remember. The guy was with us, and someone else was with us too. It occurred to me that this was the dramatic irony part of the dream/movie where the audience knows that these two guys are the ones who broke into the office, and that we were now in their nefarious hands, oblivious to it all. Except that I wasn't really oblivious, just helpless to do anything about it, for fear of upsetting the movie formula. Having this realization scared the shit out of me, and I forced myself to open my eyes.

I kept them open for several seconds, trying to let the dream fade out of mind so I wouldn't lapse back into it once I closed my eyes again. My eyes fell and the images of the room and the men and me and my boss began to appear again, so I forced them open once more. My body felt heavy and stiff, like the dream paralysis still remained. So I inhaled deeply, releasing the paralysis, and rolled over, free to dream something new.

Preferably not a dream about work.

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1 comment:

Dena said...

This is one of my favorite posts ever. I was laughing so hard!

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