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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Dear Cross-Walking Pedestrians,

It is true. You have a legal right to cross streets at crosswalks. But just because you have that right doesn't mean you should check your brain at the end of the sidewalk. You still should look both ways before crossing the street. That way you won't do something stupid like jump out in front of a car that is really too close to the crosswalk to stop without having to slam on the brakes. Yes, cars have to stop for you. But there is a point-of-no-return beyond which a car has a difficulty -- if not an impossibility -- stopping for you. Please take this into consideration. Your safety is still your responsibility, whether there are white lines below your feet or not.

Sincerely,

Brake Pedal of the '91 Park Ave.



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13 comments:

FrankandMary said...

Don't you just hate it when you have to state things that are actually too obvious not to realize, too obvious to dismiss?
Yeah, me too. ~Mary

sov said...

I almost ran down a guy once because he thought that since he was carrying the gay orange flag, he could step into the middle of a busy intersection with continuous traffic at his whim, without even bothering to really look or give warning. I managed to catch a glimpse of him in the rear-view after I swerved around him shaking his fist and screaming something at me. I should have stopped and backed up...

Frank said...

I learned in high school that force or energy = mass x velocity2. That car is a lot bigger than me. Simple Physics.

Sra said...

Mary: It's astounding how many things you would think to be obvious and yet people still neglect to act accordingly.

Sov: Yeah, the flags can be nice if it's one of those really busy streets and it's twilight, say, but they shouldn't give people a false sense of security.

Frank: Yes, the old F=mv2. Not only is the car a lot bigger than you, but it's moving a lot faster too! Unfortunately many people seem to think they are impervious because the law is on their side. May well be, but the law won't keep you from dying!

tauns said...

I hate that! Yes you have right of way...no that does not mean cars will see and/or stop for you in time! I think there should be a law that even though they are at the crosswalk if the pedestrian steps out with less than xxx feet for you to stop (depending on speed of street), they are ticketed if hit and can't sue you!

jess said...

just yesterday on my way home from work a long line of people totally jaywalked in front of lots of traffic. i couldn't believe it - it was 5 pm and they just kept walking like it was their right.

i wanted to hit one just for spite.

Sra said...

Tauns: I agree, there should be such a law. I mean, I guess you could argue that anyway, but who knows if it would work?

Jess: What jerks. I'm actually ok with jay-walking, so long as the act does not force cars -- who have the right of way without a crosswalk -- to step on their brakes. If I have to slow for you, it means you should have waited, and you will get my horn! Or, you would get my horn, if it actually worked ::sob, sniff::

Claire said...

Dear Brake Pedal of the '91 Park Ave,

First of all, we'd like to thank you for your letter. As pedestrians, most of the mail we get is from shoe companies and sellers of bunion ointment, so a personal note is quite a nice change.

We apologize for our thoughtless behavior - and it is literally thoughtless behavior. A little-known fact about zebra crossings is that they contain powerful runestones mined from the Mountains of Madness, just outside Hobb's End, and as a result, whoever enters them becomes a brainless automaton of staggering douchery for the duration of their visit. If one stays in the zebra crossing too long, it is said, The Old Ones will come and force them to buy extended warranties and wear gaucho pants to a formal function, even though the invitation clearly states "Black Tie Only."

I realize this is not much of an excuse, but until we, as a society, stand up to Big Zebra Crossings, all we pedestrians can do is try to shuffle/dart/stagger across the road as quickly as the dark evil within will allow, and hope that your reflexes are quick, and your heart, kind.

Yours in ambulatory idiocy,

Pedestrians.

sov said...

"Brainless automaton of staggering douchery" is a great phrase. I think I shall incorporate it into my personal lexicon.

I don't know if I should replace our previous creative phrase, "Cretinous mass" quite yet though. I still like that one.

Claire said...

Dear Brake Pedal of the '91 Park Ave,

First of all, we'd like to thank you for your letter. As pedestrians, most of the mail we get is from shoe companies and sellers of bunion ointment, so a personal note is quite a nice change.

We apologize for our thoughtless behavior - and it is literally thoughtless behavior. A little-known fact about zebra crossings is that they contain powerful runestones mined from the Mountains of Madness, just outside Hobb's End, and as a result, whoever enters them becomes a brainless automaton of staggering douchery for the duration of their visit. If one stays in the zebra crossing too long, it is said, The Old Ones will come and force them to buy extended warranties and wear gaucho pants to a formal function, even though the invitation clearly states "Black Tie Only."

I realize this is not much of an excuse, but until we, as a society, stand up to Big Zebra Crossings, all we pedestrians can do is try to shuffle/dart/stagger across the road as quickly as the dark evil within will allow, and hope that your reflexes are quick, and your heart, kind.

Yours in ambulatory idiocy,

Pedestrians.

Sra said...

Tauns: I agree, there should be such a law. I mean, I guess you could argue that anyway, but who knows if it would work?

Jess: What jerks. I'm actually ok with jay-walking, so long as the act does not force cars -- who have the right of way without a crosswalk -- to step on their brakes. If I have to slow for you, it means you should have waited, and you will get my horn! Or, you would get my horn, if it actually worked ::sob, sniff::

Sra said...

Mary: It's astounding how many things you would think to be obvious and yet people still neglect to act accordingly.

Sov: Yeah, the flags can be nice if it's one of those really busy streets and it's twilight, say, but they shouldn't give people a false sense of security.

Frank: Yes, the old F=mv2. Not only is the car a lot bigger than you, but it's moving a lot faster too! Unfortunately many people seem to think they are impervious because the law is on their side. May well be, but the law won't keep you from dying!

Frank said...

I learned in high school that force or energy = mass x velocity2. That car is a lot bigger than me. Simple Physics.

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