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Monday, August 11, 2008

Stress

I'm currently stressed about the following things:

  • My law school essay (although I have most of a first draft written -- thanks to everyone who left advice in my previous comment solicitation; it has all been very helpful!)
  • My apartment is super messy and I have absolutely no motivation to clean it whatsoever.
  • I blew off hiking with my dear friend this weekend because I didn't bother to find a trail and get to bed early enough the night before (I'm sorry Sov, please forgive me).
  • My mom thinks I hate her because I don't ever call her, even though I don't ever call anyone else either (telephonophobia, remember?).
  • I promised a friend I'd send her a CD with all my LSAT prep stuff on it cause she's thinking about doing law school too. This was months ago and I still haven't done it yet.
  • I keep bringing my car to work because I know the one day I ride my bike my boss is going to have the express mail that I've been expecting to have to take to the post office for the past week or so, and I'm tired of pawning my express mails off on the other secretary, cause I know I'd be resentful if it were me. But I really miss biking to work.
  • I'm trying not to be annoyed that my office manager says "How's it going, Sra?" 3-5 times per day, even though my answer always was, always is, and always will be "Fine," because I know that no one ever really expects you to answer that question honestly, which makes me wonder why we even bother with this silly social charade at all.
  • I've been working on an actual blog post (unlike this one) for several days and I'm feeling serious writer's block holding me back from finishing it.
  • I've been neglecting my friendships.


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12 comments:

sovknight said...

I'm sorry you're stressed out. No worries about the hike. I sent you an e-mail, but my e-mail has been spotty lately, so I hope you got it.

If you need a little de-stressing, let me know if you wanna hang some night. Maybe hit a movie or a coffee shop or something relaxing. We can chat.

Karen said...

The best way to get someone to quit asking how you're doing is to actually tell them how you're doing. You'll only have to do it once.

Claire said...

Hmm...

1) Karen stole my answer. I'll let it slide...this time. :)

2) Whenever I get stressed, I simply remember that Election Day is coming up fast, and I'm cheered once more.

3) If (2) doesn't work, may I recommend more BK coffee? Drink enough, and you're too busy trying to figure out how to stop levitating to stress about anything else!

Sra said...

Hmm... tell someone how I'm actually doing... this is BRILLIANT!

The evening manager at my Burger King sometimes gives me my coffee for free, and in a larger size than I order. I love her so much.

Trovan said...

I'm guessing you are the the 'worrier' personality type. While I don't empathize, I can sympathize. I'm not a worrier myself, but I did marry one.

My advice would be to keep breathing and talk to a good listener if you can find one. Talking sometimes helps bring perspective.

Sra said...

You know, I don't really see myself as a worrier, but I can see how that comes across. I like to talk about my problems instead of ignoring them, and I think when your problems become visible to other people, they think you are all-consumed by them, and that you're a generally unhappy person. I'm not, I just deal with things by getting them out. I don't think I have any more problems than anyone else.

I absolutely agree that talking brings perspective. But I think listeners often feel burdened because they think they are supposed to be able to fix you somehow -- that that's what you're looking for. But it's not and they don't. All they have to do is really listen. It helps more than you know.

Trovan said...

I think the disconnect is that guys like to fix things. If you are telling about a problem you have, we feel the urge to help in some way. We don't always see how just listening is helping too.
I have a standing order with my wife: If you don't want me to fix anything and to just listen, it needs to be clearly stated at the beginning of the conversation. My mind still races through possible ways to help, but I am able to resist the urge to do so.

Sra said...

I read about this very thing in Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus (which I think is a pretty apt discussion about gender differences in relationships). It was eye-opening to learn about this difference and then see it in action.

For instance, sometimes I just want to rant about something to get it off my chest, and all I really want is a listening ear, but when the audience is my boyfriend, he sees this as my having a problem that needs fixing, and so he tries to make it better by pointing out why I shouldn't worry so much about it. And that makes me mad because all I want him to do is validate me and acknowledge that he understands and it's ok that I'm feeling this way. To me, when someone tries to fix it or show me that's it not a problem, it belittles my feelings.

It's all such a silly little dance, but men and women really are different creatures, and neither way of approaching things is better than the other. They just aren't very compatible, unfortunately.

I like your approach with stating the intentions up front. I'm not sure how well it would work with me, because sometimes I don't know what I need before I say my piece. I think for me the default thing to do would be to just listen and acknowledge my feelings, and if I end up needing advice or help, I can go on to ask for that.

heidikins said...

Gaaah, I can so relate with this feeling. Sigh.

xox

heidikins said...

Gaaah, I can so relate with this feeling. Sigh.

xox

Trovan said...

I think the disconnect is that guys like to fix things. If you are telling about a problem you have, we feel the urge to help in some way. We don't always see how just listening is helping too.
I have a standing order with my wife: If you don't want me to fix anything and to just listen, it needs to be clearly stated at the beginning of the conversation. My mind still races through possible ways to help, but I am able to resist the urge to do so.

Trovan said...

I'm guessing you are the the 'worrier' personality type. While I don't empathize, I can sympathize. I'm not a worrier myself, but I did marry one.

My advice would be to keep breathing and talk to a good listener if you can find one. Talking sometimes helps bring perspective.

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