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Monday, August 25, 2008

Love as a Function of Pretty

The scene: Living room. Sra is on the Lovesac. Ian is on the Couch. Sra has just come home from Twin Peaks night at friend's house (who knew David Lynch was involved in that? I'm so glad I'm getting acquainted with this series). Ian is talking about god-knows-what on the couch. Sra is mesmerized.

Ian: Blah blah blah, god-knows-what, blah-bitty-blah blah --

Sra: -- You look really handsome with your hair like that.

Ian (makes "Oh stop!" motion with hand): You only love me when I'm pretty.

Sra (comes over to straddle Ian and touch his pretty hair): No, that's not true. I just love you MORE when you're pretty.

Ian (nods knowingly): I thought so.

Sra: Yeah, well... you only love me when you want to have sex with me and touch my boobies.

Ian: That's not true.

Sra: Well then, you love me MORE when you want to have sex with me and touch my boobies.

Ian: Nope, not true either.

Sra: I think we'd better finish this discussion in the bedroom.*

Ian: Damn straight!**

***

* I didn't actually say this part.
** Ian didn't actually say this part.
*** We totally had hot sex, though.

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15 comments:

Miranda said...

Methinks Twin Peaks night also involved some libations...

Sra said...

Strangely, no it didn't. My fellow Twin Peaks watchers are of the Mormon persuasion, and I have decided to swear off alcohol for the next month so I can be in tip-top shape to hike the Mt. Olympus trailhead.

Attractive boy hair does have an intoxicating effect on me, however.

Trovan said...

Usually when I see Twin Peaks I want to have sex too. Weird...

Wait...is that some sort of TV show?

Sra said...

It's a circa 1991-92 TV show. So I was 9 or 10 when it originally aired, and therefore never watched it on first run.

It's awesome, though. You should get it from your library or video store.

sovknight said...

I didn't like Twin Peaks when it was on. Too weird and Lynchian for me.

Some of us don't have anyone to have sex with either. I guess I strike out all the way around.

:(

Sra said...

I've been thinking, Sov, that you should consider taking this opportunity of unemployment (or early retirement, if you want), and go back to school to finish your degree. Or hell, to start a brand new one if you want. Being in school gives you the opportunity to meet lots of people in a low pressure atmosphere.

And ta-da! You will find someone(s) to have sex with!

P.S. to Trovan, I realize now that you were probably making a joke about boobies when you were talking about Twin Peaks. I'm slow about things like that.

Trovan said...

Indeed I was. Although, I usually just refer to them as 'the twins.'

Steve said...

I just started watching Twin Peaks too... I think we're about five episodes into it, but in my case i wanted to watch because i knew David Lynch was involved. Also, there's less sex and more head scratching after the episodes.

Sra said...

We're four episodes in, but we didn't watch the pilot. After the first episode, I saw David Lynch's name in the credits, and I thought, "That explains everything!"

The guy who plays Eraserhead is in it too.

I love the strange dialog in the red room. Apparently they said all the lines backwards and then reversed the tape. There's an extra on the dvd that teaches you how to speak backwards.

Stell car!

Claire said...

Whenever I see the words "David Lynch," I automatically assume I will be seeing a chaps-wearing midget on a rhinoceros at some point in the next two hours.

Sadly, I have never been wrong in this assumption.

Sex? What is this "sex" of which you speak? Oh, right, the stuff that went away when the last insane girlfriend did. I think I remember it...and I'm almost certain it didn't involve midgets or rhinoceroses (rhinoceri?), but I've been wrong before (but not, as earlier noted, about midgets and rhinoceroses/i in a Lynchian sense).

Sra said...

I'm not sure if I want to see what sex involving a midget and a rhinoceros entails.

P.S. re: grammar. When I said "effect" in my first comment above, I of course meant "affect".

Claire said...

Wait - did you? Because I thought "effect" was the noun and "affect" was the verb.

Unless you meant "affect" as in "manner or style," which I guess would work too.

Even though I'm an amateur language nerd and linguistic dilettante of the first order, feel free to kick me in the kiester if that's wrong.

Sra said...

They both can be used as a verb or a noun.

After doing a little dictionary surfing, it seems that "affect" works on things that already exist and "effect" brings about things that don't exist yet.

So I guess I was right the first time when I said my erotic intoxication was effected. Unless of course I was already erotically intoxicated, in which case the degree of my erotic intoxication would have been affected.

In any case, I now have a headache about these words and don't want to talk about them anymore.

(Of course, that shouldn't preclude anyone else from commenting on them if they want to.)

Sra said...

They both can be used as a verb or a noun.

After doing a little dictionary surfing, it seems that "affect" works on things that already exist and "effect" brings about things that don't exist yet.

So I guess I was right the first time when I said my erotic intoxication was effected. Unless of course I was already erotically intoxicated, in which case the degree of my erotic intoxication would have been affected.

In any case, I now have a headache about these words and don't want to talk about them anymore.

(Of course, that shouldn't preclude anyone else from commenting on them if they want to.)

Sra said...

We're four episodes in, but we didn't watch the pilot. After the first episode, I saw David Lynch's name in the credits, and I thought, "That explains everything!"

The guy who plays Eraserhead is in it too.

I love the strange dialog in the red room. Apparently they said all the lines backwards and then reversed the tape. There's an extra on the dvd that teaches you how to speak backwards.

Stell car!

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