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Wednesday, July 2, 2008

When I'm the Boss...

I don't really like Wednesdays. They aren't quite close enough to the weekend for me to like them. By Wednesday, we've already put in two days at work, and we still have two more ahead of us before we can relax for a couple days, only to repeat it all again. (Except for this week, where I have Friday off, and some lucky little bastards have Thursday off too. I actually started writing this post last Wednesday but didn't finish it in time to post that day, so I pushed it off to this Wednesday, and wouldn't you know it, it's a holiday weekend. So much for a hump day post.)

One day, years from now when I'm a lawyer with my own practice, I want to make Wednesdays likable (and I want to change the spelling of Wednesday so that it actually reads as it sounds, cause it's not like we're speaking French here -- orthography actually does matter a little bit in English!). In fact, I want to make every day of the week likable, even Mondays, and Tuesdays too, even though Tuesdays don't have a feel.

(Random Aside: my spell-checker says it's "likable" and not "likeable". Why, then, is it "likelihood" and not "liklihood"? Ok so maybe orthography doesn't matter that much in English after all. For the love of god, can we please have a little orthographic consistency around here?)

When I'm the boss, I want my employees to feel well-compensated and well-appreciated for a job well done. And I want them to have more flexibility than the standard American job has. I'm thinking we'll have 4-day work weeks, and maybe the work days will only be 6 hours long. And we'll get at least a month paid vacation time, and it will be required that you stay home when you're sick. Wouldn't that just be divine?

Honestly, I feel like it's not really fair that we have to devote a full third of our day to work. Another third goes to sleeping, so ostensibly that only leaves us one third to ourselves, but then some of that gets eaten up by commuting, getting ready for the day, and taking lunch off the clock. And then, of course, you have to unwind, and eat dinner, and at the end of it all there's just precious little time to actually live life. Especially considering that the average American job provides less than two weeks vacation time (and go ahead and try taking that consecutively), the average American job is a 40-50 year life-suck! It's like we're all hooked up to that torture machine in the Princess Bride, and the six fingered man is looming over us, sadistically declaring, "I've just sucked one year of your life away!" I don't think that's the way things should be.

I have to be fair and say that I don't know how to make this vision a reality. I don't even know if it's feasible. And I don't know how one goes about changing the spelling of a word. But by golly I'm going to try.

So I'd like to ask you what you would want in your perfect job. And how do you think it would be possible to achieve that? Go nuts.



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14 comments:

Karen said...

I would just like a nap.

Sra said...

Siesta time would indeed be very helpful. That's a good idea.

tennessee mike said...

Haha! I'm one of those "lucky little bastards." Of course, I don't get Thursday off, I'm taking it off. So I guess I'm a bastard by choice.

I read that the majority of Utah's state workforce will be switching to a 4-day work week. Not bad!

Ben Sloan said...

I know what you mean. Fucking work. It really starts to wear on you when you think about how much time you put into it. Then I start thinking, "Would I rather have it as a hunter-gatherer, working every day just to stay alive?" And then I think "Maybe." And then I fall asleep.

My ideal job is that of a novelist- it requires a lot of work, but the work is done on my own time, in my own home, and the work is something I'll always enjoy.

As far as achieving it... I just need to read/write like a sumbitch.

heidikins said...

I want 9-3 with a month of paid vacation and a solid 2 weeks of sick leave...and I want to be able to work from home whenever I want and I want a company car and a gas card...is that so much to ask?

xox

Sovknight said...

Now you know why it's so hard for me to go out and get a job. I'm finally in a place where I control my life, why would I willingly want to give it up again? 20 years of my life flushed away, working to make someone else rich. People think I'm lazy, but really... I'm not so much lazy as I am bitter.

My dream job would be doing what I do now, except with a stable income. I love writing and creating art, photography, and web design. I just wish someone would pay me for it. Also, I wish I had more friends and could travel more and not be lonely.

You asked: "Random Aside: my spell-checker says it's "likable" and not "likeable". Why, then, is it "likelihood" and not "liklihood"?"

In "likable", the consonant is followed by a vowel, making the "I" a long-vowel sound. In "liklihood", the consonant is followed by another consonant, shortening the vowel sound. Double consonants create short vowel sounds. Er... sometimes. Mostly. Occasionally.

Sovknight said...

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it typically takes a double consonant after a vowel to shorten the vowel sound. Butter, letter, better, babble... yeah. So ignore my previous rambling.

Wait... rambling? Not rambbling?

Grrrr...

Sra said...

Mike: It's times like these I wish I were a state employee. I hope you enjoy your bastard-by-choice vacation.

Ben: In many ways, I think life might be simpler if we were hunter-gatherers. Being a writer would be great!, as long as you knew there would be a paycheck somewhere along the way...

Heidi: The funny thing is, I don't think that's too much to ask. I just want to know how it's possible. If I could give that to my future employees, I'd do so.

Sov: You can make money doing the art/photography thing. People do it. I just don't know how they do it, which is why you should talk to people who do do it. Next time we go to Piper, talk to Aja or Lisa about it. And whenever you find people doing what you want to do, talk to them about it. Pick their brains.

Thanks for the attempt at explaining the spelling question. Parts of you explanation could be true. And, if we're going double consonant = short vowel sound (which is actually how they do things in German, except they are much more consistent than we are), then it would be rammbling, no?

Ah fooey on it anyway.

Loralee Choate said...

Right now? I have my perfect job. I just wish I got paid enough to live on from it.

Claire said...

Speaking strictly as a frustrated artist and author, I would say my dream job would be writing and illustrating my own books.

Which I'm doing right now, albeit for free, while I toil for minor ducats in the house that motors built. However, I've had a few things published, and one day - one sweet day - I shall be the boss of me.

And I will put my stapler in Jell-O™.

Speaking as a language nerd, I will say that I have long been (and continue to be) a proponent of a return to the true, pantheistic days of the week.

Sunday
Moonday
Tyr's Day
Woden's Day
Thor's Day
Freya's Day
Saturn's Day

Alternatively, we could go with my other scheme, which is to name each day of the week for a Jackson. To wit:

Clairesday
Jermainesday
Michaelsday
Janetsday
Titosday
LaToyasday
Joesday

"Hmm, I've got church on Clairesday - can we reschedule for LaToyasday, say around 2?"

It's easy as 1-2-3, when you think about it.

Sra said...

Who knew the original days of the week were so pagan? Makes a lot more sense to know that. Actually, I knew about Thor's Day because in German you say Donnerstag, meaning "Thunder Day", and I believe Thor liked to throw lightning bolts.

I like the Jackson days too :)

Sra said...

Who knew the original days of the week were so pagan? Makes a lot more sense to know that. Actually, I knew about Thor's Day because in German you say Donnerstag, meaning "Thunder Day", and I believe Thor liked to throw lightning bolts.

I like the Jackson days too :)

Sra said...

Mike: It's times like these I wish I were a state employee. I hope you enjoy your bastard-by-choice vacation.

Ben: In many ways, I think life might be simpler if we were hunter-gatherers. Being a writer would be great!, as long as you knew there would be a paycheck somewhere along the way...

Heidi: The funny thing is, I don't think that's too much to ask. I just want to know how it's possible. If I could give that to my future employees, I'd do so.

Sov: You can make money doing the art/photography thing. People do it. I just don't know how they do it, which is why you should talk to people who do do it. Next time we go to Piper, talk to Aja or Lisa about it. And whenever you find people doing what you want to do, talk to them about it. Pick their brains.

Thanks for the attempt at explaining the spelling question. Parts of you explanation could be true. And, if we're going double consonant = short vowel sound (which is actually how they do things in German, except they are much more consistent than we are), then it would be rammbling, no?

Ah fooey on it anyway.

Sovknight said...

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it typically takes a double consonant after a vowel to shorten the vowel sound. Butter, letter, better, babble... yeah. So ignore my previous rambling.

Wait... rambling? Not rambbling?

Grrrr...

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