Thanks a lot for pulling out in front of my car today when I was just about to make a right turn on a green light. Yes, that's right, green light, thus I had the right of way and it wouldn't have been my fault if you had ended up under the tires of my car. In fact if Ian hadn't been in the car with me to point out the fact that you had popped up out of nowhere, under my car is very well where you probably would be right now. And I would be on the side of the road, sobbingly trying to explain to a police officer just how you ended up under the wheel of my car. And I'd have had to live with the knowledge that I killed somebody, even if it wouldn't have been my fault. Frankly, I'm glad I don't have to live with that, and you should thank your lucky stars that you don't have to live with... er, die with that either.
Sure, you had your little spandex biking outfit on, and your biking helmet. But let me tell you something: Your helmet is not going to save your life if I run you over with my car, and your little biking outfit obviously does not make you a smart biker. You might as well have been Bill Gates in a Superman costume.
Here's the thing: even if you did have the right of way, as a biker it is still up to you to look out for your own well-being. Drivers aren't looking out for you, trust me. If you can tell that a driver doesn't see you, then you better fucking yield, unless you really do have a death wish. And if that's the case, you might as well go jump off a cliff or something so you don't have to involve somebody else's conscience in your fate.
And before you go accusing me of being a cyclist-hater, let me just say that I am the proud owner of a brand new Specialized City7 24-speed hybrid commuter bike, complete with generator-powered headlights and taillights, a luggage rack, and even a little bell. And I rode it to work both days this week. And guess what? When I wasn't sure if a car could see me or not, I fucking yielded, because I value my life even more than I value my hot titties new bicycle.
So, please, look out for yourself, alright? Because even though I am sympathetic to the needs of bicyclists, I too am a driver of an evil automobile, and as a driver, I am not guaranteed to see you or your spandex shorts when you fly out in front of me. Bill Gates in a Superman costume? That I might see. But whether you or Bill Gates, neither of you is impervious to being sucked under my wheels. Not even if you are dressed like Superman.