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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Bothersome little language things

Eye-ball Molesting Periods

I. Hate. When. People. Put. Periods. Between. Words. As. If. All. The. Words. Are. Individual. Little. Sentences. Don't. Get. Me. Wrong. There. Is. Such. A. Thing. As. A. One. Word. Sentence. But. Such. Sentences. Do. Not. Include. Prepositions. Or. Articles. Or. Verbs. Mostly. They. Can. Just. Be. Nouns. Or. Adjectives. And. Sometimes. Words. Like. "When". But. Only. When. Used. With. A. Question. Mark. M'Kay?

So for love of unstilted and flowing sentences, please try to contain yourself with this nasty little habit, for me. (Personal apologies to those of my readers who love to put periods between words. I know, I know, you do it for emphasis, even though there are PLENTY of other methods of adding emphasis. I don't mean to insult you personally.)



A little too much self-loving going on

I also hate the phrase "Love me some...", as in "I love me some baby Jesus," or "I love me some ginger snaps." I don't know where this came from, but I want it to go back to wherever that is and never again enter my auditory or visual senses.



Faulty Reflexes

Finally, I hate when someone asks a person how they are doing and they say "Good, and yourself?"

And I don't even mean the part where they say "good" instead of "well", cause that doesn't really bother me. (Why shouldn't "good" be considered an adverb as well as an adjective? I don't see why not.) I'm talking about the part where they use the reflexive pronoun "yourself" instead of the nominative pronoun "you". You don't say "Yourself is doing well," but "You are doing well." So the question form of this sentence is "How are you doing?" or "Are you doing well?" NOT "How is yourself doing?" NOR "Are yourself doing well?


Now it's your turn. Tell me the little language things that you hate. Extra points if it's something that I routinely do.



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20 comments:

Sovknight said...

Ohhhh god. You dare get me started?

Actually, I've got another edition of "little things" planned for an upcoming blog. Very soon. I'll give you a preview though:

I like online cartoon strips, but I HATE the ones that are just stick figure drawings. They suck. Here's a tip to anyone who has a cartoon that just uses crude stick figures, If you can't draw, obviously, cartooning isn't for you. Please leave art to those who can do it, or write out your joke and hire someone to draw it for you. Your cartoons suck.

Sovknight said...

Oh, and sorry. I know that my example doesn't pertain to language all that much. Art is a language though right?

Hmm... my example was bad.

I should read the rules more carefully. I just got excited when someone gave me a reason to bitch about something.

Sra said...

That's ok, I appreciate your example, cause I had never thought about it before, but I think you're right. I knew there was something that bothered me about the lame stick figure cartoons that show up in IN Magazine and the SL Shitty Weekly, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. So thanks.

Loralee Choate said...

Oh, GOD. I was just getting over the whole italics things AND I.just.did.the.period.thing.on.my.post.this.morning.

How do you read my blog without sticking a fork in your eye?

(You probably do, don't you? Gah! I don't want to know!!)

Sovknight said...

I was wondering about that eye patch you were wearing last week at the game. I thought you wanted to be a pirate, with all your pirate gold from the UTA ticket machine.






*just kidding!*

Sra said...

So that's why my vision is getting worse, I keep sticking forks in my eyes. At least I have my fashionable eye patches.

Seriously, though, I love your blog Loralee. Please don't be sad that I can't stand the period thing. I have a very serious issue with certain grammatical pet peeves, and it probably borders on annoying obsession. It's not you. It's me.

The Over-Thinker said...

Uh.Oh. Yeah, you're right--I need to stop that.

Heh.

I nearly peed myself with the "Loves me some baby Jesus" line. Thank you (NOT yourself), ever-so-much.

My "Hates":
-"Them are good."
-"I seen 'em."
-"Hella good."
-"Alls I know."

Finale:
"I seen 'em and alls I know is them are good. Hella good." (Cue the Deliverance banjos)

jon deal said...

I. Love. Me. Some. Short. Sentences.

Sorry.

:-]

Sterkworks said...

I hate periods too, but the different time. And I always answer that I am doing "good" because I think it is okay and it pisses off some people. Language evolves.

Sra said...

Over-Thinker: I love the composite sentence of all your hates. I think I say "Alls I know" sometimes, but I think it originally started as a joke and then just worked its way into my normal speech.

Jon: You must reconsider your love.

Sterkworks: Language does evolve, and it's nice when people recognize that. That recognition is the main difference between prescriptive grammarians and descriptive grammarians. Prescriptives are always telling people what they SHOULD say, and descriptives are always saying what people DO say.

Sov said...

Not a hate, but one I actually like:

From Texas: "You'ans"

I like it because you can use it in a singular form, as in referring to one person. "You'ans gonna eat that?"

Or you can use it to describe a whole group of people. "You'ans goin' together in a bunch?"

It's great.

Sra said...

That's interesting because usually when a new variation of "you" pops up, it's to try to cover the fact that in English we don't differentiate between singular and plural forms of the 2nd person pronoun "you". So to make up for that, some people say "youse" or "y'all" or "you guys" as a means of expressly stating the plural. Interesting that the Texan form "you'ans" has bled back into the singular as well.

Miranda said...

I generally disdain the usage of language for the purpose of attempting to make oneself sound smarter. Irregardless of the level of education attained by said individual, such behaviour is obnoxious and offensive. Especially when words are used within contexts of questionable appropriateness, uh, myopically, and particularly when different spelling is utilized to once again reiterate one's superiour and unparallelled intellectual capacity.

Sra said...

I love you Miranda.

/brandon\ said...

i hate when people type their own dialogue in ALLCAPS but when you meet them in real life and are expectin to be overwhelmed with their LARGER THAN LIFENESS, they are monotone buzzkill.

and when i say 'people,' i mean me, i guess. (here via jon deal, sorry for the strange unsolicited comment!)

The Over-Thinker said...

I had to come back to add another HATE.

"Happy ValenTIMES Day!"

If you're 5, this is acceptable. If you're older than 5, but less than 10, this is pushing it. If you are older than 10, you are no longer cute and Sylvan Learning Center may be in your future.

Sra said...

Amen to both the ALL CAPS thing and valenTIMES. Kind of reminds me of Pretty Woman, "Sometimes there are three tines, and sometimes there are four tines."

I love unsolicited comments ;)

Sra said...

So that's why my vision is getting worse, I keep sticking forks in my eyes. At least I have my fashionable eye patches.

Seriously, though, I love your blog Loralee. Please don't be sad that I can't stand the period thing. I have a very serious issue with certain grammatical pet peeves, and it probably borders on annoying obsession. It's not you. It's me.

Sovknight said...

I was wondering about that eye patch you were wearing last week at the game. I thought you wanted to be a pirate, with all your pirate gold from the UTA ticket machine.






*just kidding!*

Sovknight said...

Oh, and sorry. I know that my example doesn't pertain to language all that much. Art is a language though right?

Hmm... my example was bad.

I should read the rules more carefully. I just got excited when someone gave me a reason to bitch about something.

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