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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Noncents: Makes sense to me!

Every now and then I come up with a million dollar idea. It's the result of my desperation to leave behind the slavery of 9-to-5-dom.

In reality, I know that the only way to escape the track of getting other people rich while I scrape by on my meager salary is to try to become the person on top who is getting rich from the work of other people. That's one reason I'm doing the law school thing. Oh don't get me wrong, lawyers do work hard. Many are known to be workaholics. But not all of them work hard, I can attest, and those that do at least get the satisfaction of being in control of their lives. So that's where my reality is taking me.

But in my dreamland, I like to come up with ideas that are sure to break Ian and I out of our poor middle class state (because in this country the middle class really is poor). Ian likes to do this too, so we have a good time sharing our ideas with each other. But we don't always like each other's ideas.

Like my brilliant invention which I like to call the BlankCape: It's a cross between a blanket and a cape. I constantly have a small blanket draped around my shoulders at home, because I'm always cold. Even at 71degsF I'm cold. 72 is a bit more manageable, but a nice toasty 75 is even better. But anyway, I get tired of having to hold the blanket with my hands, or having the knot I tie to keep it around my neck coming undone while I'm trying to use the stove. My blanket now has a nice burn scar from such an incident. So my invention would be a cape that is made out of a blanket so that my hands will be free whilst I walk about the house in warmth and comfort. I could even see taking the BlankCape to work, because, like so many places, my office is always over air-conditioned in the Summer. (Just because it's hotter than Hades outside doesn't mean it needs to be colder than the North Pole inside, people! Seriously, my body could go into shock with those kind of temperature differentials!)

Ian thinks the BlankCape is a weird idea.

He wasn't too fond of the Tea Globe either.

And then there was the time I came up with one of my cleverest ideas, methinks. It's a store called Noncents, and it doesn't deal in change. Everything costs even dollar amounts, even with tax. And that way, there's no more of this funny business of $2.99 bullshit. When I see $2.99, I think $2, because I just look at the first number, even though I know better. But $2.99 still seems a lot cheaper to me than $3. I think this practice is deceptive and maybe even false advertising. Noncents would do away with this nonsense altogether.

Ian hates the Noncents idea too.

What do you guys think? And what are your stupid million dollar ideas? I promise I won't steal them. (Don't have to, cause Noncents and the BlankCape are gonna make me Rich!)

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Adam said...

First, I think someone has already invented something similar to the Blankcape®, it's called a robe. Just saying. But the Noncents idea is interesting. People love a gimmick.

My idea stems from having way too many nieces and nephews. Anyone who has been around kids knows that they love piggyback rides. But they are also not known to be the strongest people in the world. So what you get is a 45 pound weight on your back that has the ability to choke you out.

That is, until now. Sure, it might look like a belt with stirrups on it, because, well, that's what it is! No more being choked out by tiny hands. No more necklines that look like the elephant man has tried on your shirt. Just have them step into the stirrups, and Voile! You can piggyback them around to their heart's content, or until your trick knee gives out, whichever comes first.

I need a name though. I have no name for it.

Sra said...

I love it! I'd probably call it something stupid and obvious like the Piggy Back Saddle Belt. You pretty much couldn't trademark that though, cause it's too descriptive. (Well, you might could, but it would be a worthless trademark, cause you'd have to disclaim all the words.)

I know, I know. People don't understand that it's better to have a blanket around your shoulders instead of a robe.

Sovknight said...

Couldn't you just wear a sweatshirt around the house? I'm cold-blooded because I inherited it from my mom, who is always cold. I have a big fleece pullover sweatshirt that I lounge around in whenever I'm cold, that way I don't have to turn up the heat too much (I keep my place at about 65 in the winter, which I believe is the perfect temp). I would think that a cape would get into things or snag on something or get shut in the oven or door. I admit though, I'm having trouble picturing your invention.

Sra said...

Yes, I COULD wear a sweatshirt, or a robe, or layers, or any other extant keep-you-warm item. But I LIKE to have a blanket around my shoulders.

I don't see why this is so difficult to grasp.

Zac said...

Robe, cloak, poncho, you're delving into fashion design.

Hmm... add some vestlike straps to the inner surface of your blanket.

Sra said...

Vestlike straps? We'll have to talk about that. You can draw me a diagram. Thanks for taking me seriously! :)

Scottrbarnes said...

Here's my crazy idea:

Pedal powered computer monitors.

Get a little bit of exercise every time you want to use your computer. The CPU would likely be wall powered so you don't lose your work when you quit pedaling, but the monitor can turn off and on without hurting productivity.

A standard LCD monitor only uses around 50 Watts, which is pretty easy for anyone to put out - the old folks at the hospital do that on their stair steppers.

Sra said...

That is a good idea. With as much time as I spend in front of the computer each day, a means for getting a little exercise while I sit on my ass would be welcome. You could call it "Monitor your Fitness".

The Over-Thinker said...

I totally get the Blankcape.

The last "clever" idea I had has since been ripped off by Pur--you know, the water filter people? I totally thought up the "flavored-filter" about two years ago...I am bitter. And cold. Hmm...I wonder where I could get a Blankcape?

Sra said...

Flavored water filter? That is genius! I bet you are pissed!

Thank you for understanding the blankcape :)

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