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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I want YOU to give me a bike, Uncle Sam

Happy tax day, everybody!

I've already bent over for Uncle Sam and let him rape me of about $100 dollars in taxes which apparently weren't already taken out of my paycheck. But it doesn't smart so bad this year, because I'm looking forward to receiving my $600 economic stimulus package in May.

I'd like to say that I'm going to lift my finger to George W. Bush and sock that money away in savings, but, unfortunately, I'm planning to do a little economic stimulating in the form of a Victoria's Secret clothing spree. I've recently discovered that VS clothes are both hot and flatteringly suited for a normal sized woman such as myself. (You'd think I was about as big as a woman comes with the clothing sizes in most stores out there.)

I'm also on the lookout for a new bicycle, and I'll probably spend about $600 on that, so in fact I'll be digging into my savings. Probably not the smartest of things when the U.S. dollar is currently teetering at the top of a precarious Jenga tower that has just about had all the important blocks kicked out from underneath it.

But you know what? I think even if(when) the dollar does collapse, we're all gonna be fucked whether we buy ourselves those hot new VS clothes and shiny rad bicycles or not. So I'm opting for clothing and bicycles.

What are y'all going to do with your stimulus packages?



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15 comments:

Melliferous Pants said...

I owe the State of Utah $213, which is weird, because I made very little since moving here. I think they sneak a 10% tithing charge (in the form of tax) for the defectors.

However, my federal return is nice and hefty! I expect my nightmares about hitting the pole to put myself through school will end. At least for now.

Sov said...

I typed up a long rant about how the government is responsible for this whole economic mess to begin with, and how gas prices are going to be the economic death of our country, but it was a scathing rant and inappropriate to the subject. Weirdly, when I clicked 'publish', your blog was like "NOT" and it wouldn't work, so the whole thing got zapped away. All for the better anyway. I'm in a mood today because I can't make any progress on this stupid website, and half of Nevada blew into my bedroom last night and today I'm all stuffy.

I'll probably use my $600 pittance to pay bills and buy overpriced gasoline for the Oldmanmobile. If I don't get a job soon, I may use it to avoid starvation. I'd like to use it to stimulate new camera equipment for myself, but factors may prevent that. We'll see.

heidikins said...

My stimulus is going to my insurance company as my deductible... I want to use it to buy a plane ticket to Hawaii... but, probably won't be happening in the next month or two. Boo! Hiss!

xox

Sra said...

Pants: That's funny, usually the State of Utah keeps too much money from everyone and ends up owing us. In fact, that's why my tax raping works out to only $100 instead of $160.

Sov: It's true, our guvment ruined our economy. The stupid thing about the "oil crisis" is that we have the means to step away from our oil dependency. The technology is there. But when you have a product that everyone needs, you have a special kind of economic security that greedy people with their hands in the oil industry's pockets are not going to be willing to give up. And unfortunately, those greedy people are the ones with the power. I hope you find a nice job soon. And get some allergy pills, ok?

Heidi: That's too bad, but on the bright side, Hawaii is just FULL of bugs.

Adam said...

I'm buying US Savings Bonds with my rebate!

Or maybe a lavender bedroom set, I'm not quite sure yet. ;)

Scottrbarnes said...

My economic stimulus rebate is going to pay for my trip to Europe! Ha ha! Take that Uncle Sam!

Sra said...

Sweet! Too bad about the exchange rate though.

Miranda said...

Well, apparently the amount that you either get back or owe has something to do with how much you make. This was something I really did know, but seemed to have forgotten in 2007. So just like every other year since I've ever had a job, I excitedly went to do my taxes the second I got my w2 forms, thinking how much will it be this time? See, I'm so used to being a destitute college student that always gets a refund. Well, I knew that I was making a little more now - you know, with that lucrative Linguistics degree I have, but I didn't think it was enough to put me into the 'owing' category. Much to my shock and dismay, I actually OWED $800! I called my dad immediately to, you know, try to get him to make it stop and go away now - but his response was a little chuckle and then 'You know Miranda, this is about the time in your life that liberals like you become republicans'. I appreciate the comforting words, dad! So, my stinking $600 surplus will go to pay myself back. No shiny new anything for me. Ugh. But I am still a liberal, thank you very much.

Sra said...

Good to hear from you Miss Miranda.

That's interesting about liberals becoming republicans. It reminds me of a similar conversation in a German movie that you might like (since, of course, you speak German and are a liberal) called The Edukators.

That's an outrageous amount to owe! I would be pissed as well. You might want to ask your employer to change the number of exceptions you take with each paycheck. Maybe change it to zero exceptions. That way you'll be more likely to get a refund next year, but each paycheck you get will be lower.

The Over-Thinker said...

I'm going to save my stimulus check for gas money for the car trip to the polls so I can NOT vote for McCain.

Sra said...

Well, if your tactic works and we end up with a dem in office, then that will have been money well spent!

Sra said...

Well, if your tactic works and we end up with a dem in office, then that will have been money well spent!

The Over-Thinker said...

I'm going to save my stimulus check for gas money for the car trip to the polls so I can NOT vote for McCain.

Miranda said...

Well, apparently the amount that you either get back or owe has something to do with how much you make. This was something I really did know, but seemed to have forgotten in 2007. So just like every other year since I've ever had a job, I excitedly went to do my taxes the second I got my w2 forms, thinking how much will it be this time? See, I'm so used to being a destitute college student that always gets a refund. Well, I knew that I was making a little more now - you know, with that lucrative Linguistics degree I have, but I didn't think it was enough to put me into the 'owing' category. Much to my shock and dismay, I actually OWED $800! I called my dad immediately to, you know, try to get him to make it stop and go away now - but his response was a little chuckle and then 'You know Miranda, this is about the time in your life that liberals like you become republicans'. I appreciate the comforting words, dad! So, my stinking $600 surplus will go to pay myself back. No shiny new anything for me. Ugh. But I am still a liberal, thank you very much.

Sra said...

Sweet! Too bad about the exchange rate though.

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