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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Must-Read Blog #1: Sovknight.com

This is the first post in a new series featuring blogs that are on my daily Must-Read list. Some of them are from people I know personally, and others are from random people I found on the internet in one way or another, but all of them are worthwhile reading.





The first Must-Read Blog, Sovknight.com, is authored by one of my actual-life best friends, whom I will call Sov, because I have not obtained permission to use his real life name.

Sov's blog is relatively new, but he already has a fine collection of smart, witty articles on topics ranging from movie reviews to politics to rants on stupid people (my favorite). His articles are always very intelligent and well-written.

Here are some excerpts from a few of my favorite posts:

Sov ranting on stupid people: Little Things

[...]
If I’m in a restaurant enjoying a nice meal with my friends or in a shop, a movie, or just in public in general, and you’re there and have brought your young children along… control them. What I mean by controlling them is being a responsible parent. I understand young children don’t have long attention spans, that they get bored or cranky or suddenly take interest in shiny things. That’s the beauty of being a kid. You have no responsibilities.

That’s why it’s your job as a parent to teach them when they become out of line. It is not acceptable for a child to scream at the top of their lungs for no reason at all. It is not acceptable for them to walk along the isle of a store and knock off all the items on display and then giggle at it. It is not acceptable for them to lean over from behind me during the movie and touch me in any way. It’s not cute, funny, or acceptable. These children will grow up to become speed bump-stopping, cell phone-checking, coupon-using, U-scan-hogging idiots like you. Then people like me will go postal.

[...]

Sov on Politics (priceless post!): Today is Super Tuesday, and no... I didn't vote

[...]
Traditionally, the president has always been a wealthy, popular white guy. Always. Sometimes, he’s also a military figure, a successful lawyer or businessman, a congressman, or some other sort of politician. He’s always a rich and popular white guy though, so based on that tradition and that tradition alone, not racism or sexism, but purely tradition, we can safely decide who our next president will be.
  • Hillary Clinton. Rich, white, popular, but not a guy. Take a seat.
  • Barack Obama. Rich, popular, is a guy, but is only a little bit white. Mostly black. Better luck next time.
  • Mitt Romney. Rich, white, popular, and a guy. Perfect right? Nope. He’s a Mormon. So, you ask? What does religion have to do with it? Well, it shouldn’t have anything to do with it, but it does. I live in Utah, where more than half the population is Mormon. I know lots of them, and I also know lots of people who are voting for Mitt Romney specifically because he’s Mormon. They may not even know anything about him, other than some vague recollection about him having something to do with the 2002 Olympics, but that doesn’t matter. They will vote for him because he’s a Mormon. Likewise, I also know people that will NOT vote for him because he’s a Mormon. No other reason, just a prejudice against religion or even specifically Mormons, for whatever reason. Mitt Romney = not gonna win.
  • Mike Huckabee. Rich, white, is a guy, but not that popular. At least, not yet. When compared against the aforementioned candidates, his popularity is behind. That’s not a good sign. Plus, he’s got a stupid name. Can you imagine President Huckabee? What is this, the Andy Griffith show? Chances: Very long. Maybe, but not likely.
  • Ron Paul. Rich, white, is a guy, not popular. Seriously, who is this guy? I haven’t even seen any campaign signs for him. I do know exactly two people that support him though, but that’s not enough. Not a chance.

Well, that pretty much leaves John McClane.

diehard Personally, I think John McClane would make a kick-ass president. We definitely wouldn’t have any more terrorist issues. Foreign policy would be settled quickly and decisively, and the State of the Union address would be peppered with obscenities and sharp one-liners. America’s new catchphrase? “Yippeeki-yay, motherf”… wait, John McCain? McCain, not McClane?

Bummer.

Well, OK. John McCain. Rich, white, is a guy, popular, plus he’s ex-military, a current senator, and he’s old. Perfect ingredients for a president. Of course, he’s also an asshole. Still, traditionally speaking, he’s the guy. Plus, as I write this, he’s leading his party. Consensus: Good.

[...]


Sov on Hatemongers: Heath Ledger and the Westboro Baptists

[...]
I don’t know Heath Ledger. Never met him. Everyone has said since his death that he was a wonderful human being, that he was a “nice guy” and all that. Of course, people always say that when popular people die. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he stole candy from babies, and kicked people’s dogs when walking by on the street. I doubt it. No one is perfect, and I’m sure he had his flaws just like anyone else. I’m sure he wasn’t a saint, but then who is? Not me. Not you, and especially not these window-licking, paste-eating Jerry’s Kids religious-cult hate-monger shithead human being wannabes at the Westboro Baptist Church. [Note from Sra: These people called for picketing Ledger's funeral, because he acted as a gay cowboy... and so of course, he has no right to a funeral, right?...] They are so far removed from sainthood that I can just picture the devil right now, cracking his knuckles in anticipation with a gleeful look in his eyes just waiting for one of them to kick off so he can watch their flaming souls take a swan dive straight into Hell where a thousand gay cowboys are waiting, dicks in hand and smiles on their faces, to ass-rape them for the rest of eternity.
[...]


As you can see, you are in for a provocatively witty ride at Sovknight.com. So give Sov's blog a visit, and if you're already convinced by the above excerpts (as well you should be) go ahead and Subscribe to Sov's RSS Feed. You won't regret it.

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3 comments:

Sovknight said...

You are the bestest. Thanks!

Sarah said...

He's funny and not hard on the eyes. Added to RSS feed! I like this segment. I need new blogs to read so what a great way to find some.

Sra said...

(He's also single, and a great catch! Ladies, get in line.)

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