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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Rivers of Honey and Bad Tattoo Similes

I had the strangest dream last night.

I'm accustomed to having really fantastical, adventurous, vivid dreams on occasion. A few of these dreams have spawned some book ideas, none of which have been started, but all of which are trapped safely in my mind for future writing. One of them is a science fiction type story involving time travel and infinity, and I talked about the dream that inspired that story in my blog post Ad Infinitum.

Another is a vision of the future, but it's not science fiction. Well, I suppose if I told you that in this vision of the future it's become fashionable to get sixth toe body modifications (as in adding more toes to your feet), then you might not believe it's not science fiction. But really, it's just a story about society in the future based on a couple of my crazy dreams. The toe thing kind of shows that many things that seem normal or fashionable to us in society are actually arbitrary or weird. Like codpieces. WTF, mate, WTF.

But anyway, I don't think this dream I had last night is going to spark any more book ideas, but it was a rather unusual dream, so I thought I might as well talk about it here.

I can't remember too many details, unfortunately, since I waited too long to post this entry, but what I do remember is that I was squatting in an old abandoned high school. And by squatting, I mean staying for free. Not... you know.... Anyway, I had company, but I'm not sure who my companions were, or exactly how many of us there were. But living in an old high school and being able to do whatever we wanted in a place that symbolizes structure and discipline was rather freeing.

So of course supernatural forces had to interfere.

One day, without warning, honey began to flow through the hallways of the school. It started out slow, with maybe an inch or two stream of honey coursing through some of the corridors. But the more we tried to clean up the honey or stop the flow, the more honey came, until we were dealing with some serious rivers of honey, the current, viscosity, and stickiness of which could have destroyed even the most skilled swimmer.

It was sort of like the rivers of slime in Ghostbusters 2, except that it was honey. Yeah, I really don't know where that came from, I guess you could say I was having sweet dreams. But anyway, I'd be much more afraid of a river of honey than a river of slime, no question. I mean, could you imagine what would happen if you were submerged in a river of honey? There would be no hope for you! Even if you managed to rise above the current, you'd never get all that sticky bee vomit out of your airways. You'd seriously be a goner!

We tried diverting the flow by opening and closing doorways and windows, and, oddly enough, we used pots and pans to try to scoop the river outside. It seemed to work a little. Most of all, we were glad the school was equipped with plenty of staircases and random ledges, so that we had a fighting chance against the honey.

Unfortunately, I don't know how the story ends, because I was awakened by my alarm blaring some of the dumbest lyrics I've heard in a long time. They go like this:

You're on my heart just like a tattoo
And just like a tattoo
I'll always have you.

Ug, I just bee vomited all over myself.

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1 comment:

heidikins said...

Hehehe! That is fantastic; love the visuals.


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