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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Office Memoranda


MEMORANDUM
To: BLC
From: Sra
RE: The IDS from Hell


I understand that there is a requirement to disclose any references that we know are relevant to our patent application, so that the patent examiner can determine whether said references conflict with the novelty of the invention. But I don't understand why we need to disclose references that (a) are already listed on the front cover of patents we are already disclosing (b) including references that we have never even looked at (c) and that we have to somehow get our hands on before we submit everything to the USPTO.



MEMORANDUM
To: DWO
From: Sra
RE: Using the Intercom


Intercom etiquette 101: It is customary to say the name of the person you are buzzing to (a) get their attention, (b) let them know who is calling, and (c) let them know that you didn't just accidentally hit the intercom button.




MEMORANDUM
To: FWC
From: Sra
RE: Pretending not to be in your office when you really are and then "sneaking" out on the elevator


When I buzz your intercom and I hear you quickly turning down the volume of your music, and then I hear the elevator travel up to the third floor to get you, you are insulting my intelligence by pretending that you aren't in. I know that you are, and you could at least grace me with a "Send the call to voicemail, I'm off to lunch!" Just sayin'!





MEMORANDUM
To: BL
From: Sra
RE: Lunchtime


When you take your lunch late, I have to take my lunch late. It's not usually that big of a deal, but it is a little irritating at times.




MEMORANDUM
To: NP
From: Sra
RE: My inbox


Just because my inbox is empty doesn't mean my task list is empty. Usually the stuff that used to be in my inbox is still on my desk, whether it's been numerically arranged and sorted for a trip to the file room, or whether it's attached to files on my desk and ready to be processed. In other words, stop making comments about the state of my inbox. My inbox is my receptacle for stuff you have to give me, and is not a measure of my productivity or workload.




MEMORANDUM
To: JKM
From: Sra
RE: Jekyl/Hyde


You have two personalities, and I find one of them rather delightful and the other one rather frightening. But since I never know what to expect, I usually tip toe around you. I'm not asking for any changes, I'm just explaining our dynamic.




MEMORANDUM
To: PCO
From: Sra
RE: No complaints


I have no complaints about you! You are not overly demanding, and you give me plenty of proofreading work, which I love! Ok, there was that one time that I ended up staying at the office until 10:PM-ish trying to help you get that nasty brief filed, and I pretty much wanted to pop your head off that night, but then you made up for it by buying pizza and taking the firm out to lunch. So I couldn't stay mad! Thanks for being a great boss!



MEMORANDUM
To: GSD
From: Sra
RE: We don't work together much, but when we do, the task is usually tedious


It's true, I hate to say it, but when you approach my desk, I can expect to be in for a really loathsome task. Even so, I have had to translate a few German patents for you, and while this is not an easy or particularly delightsome task, I do feel that I have grown as a German translator because of it! So, in a weird way, thanks for your tedious tasks.





MEMORANDUM
To: Sra
From: Sra
RE: Note to Self


Note to self:

No office, job, or group of coworkers is ever perfect. You yourself are not perfect. You may not love your job all the time, but you know it is a good one with good pay, good benefits, and a lenient set of bosses that don't really care that you show up a half hour late every day and wear jeans more often than you should. Count your blessings, and try to maintain a positive attitude while this transitional job helps you to achieve your dreams.


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5 comments:

heidikins said...

I love venting!

xox

Loralee Choate said...

This made me totally laugh (And think).

I just may steal it.

Proper credit attached, of course.

:)

Sra said...

Steal away. I'm all about Creative Commons.

heidikins said...

I love venting!

xox

Sra said...

Steal away. I'm all about Creative Commons.

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