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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Ad Infinitum

I had this dream last night that I thought was genius when I woke up from it, but it turns out I woke up from it in the middle of the night, and so by the time it was morning I had forgotten exactly what was so brilliant about the dream. Still, I tried to drill the importance of the dream into my head while I brushed my teeth and flat-ironed my hair this morning. My dream didn't seem quite as impressive as it did in the middle of the night, but it still seemed like a good start to a good idea.

I remember learning that there are an infinite number of universes, each one existing inside someone's head. These seem to be parallel-type existences. The way I discovered this was that I had a dream within my dream about one of these universes that was alternate to my own reality. In my dream's dream, my boyfriend was someone else than my boyfriend. In fact, far from being graduated adults living together, we were classmates in high school, and he hardly had any interest in me. I think the me in my dream's dream wouldn't have cared that this guy didn't take an interest if it weren't for the fact that the real me was inside her head, remembering how things could have been between this boy and I. That sentence was really confusing. What I mean to say is that I had taken over the me in this other universe that I dreamed. The me who was in my first dream was the real me, and the me in the dream within a dream was taken over by the real me from the first dream, thus providing the consciousness of the alternate universe. That doesn't make much more sense, but I tried. I tried also explaining the two existences to my classmate; I tried to tell him how things were different in our other life. But as you see that I have a hard time explaining such things, I'm sure I wasn't very convincing.

After awakening from the dream within a dream, I recall talking with a science guy about what happened. He explained to me that there are an infinite number of existences, that inside my brain lives another existence in which I exist, and that inside the me inside my dream within a dream lived another existence, and that I, in turn, was the existence inside another me's brain in a realm outside the realm in which I exist, and that this goes on infinitely in both directions. All this had something to do with string theory.

Then I remember asking the science guy whether this was a large infinity or a small infinity, upon which the science guy asked what I meant. I explained that if there was only one existence inside my head, and inside that head another, and another inside that head and so on ad infinitum, that that would be a relatively small infinity in comparison to an infinity in which there were multiple, hundreds, thousands, maybe even an infinite number of existences inside my head, and that inside each of these were also an infinite or extremely large number of other existences. So this got me thinking about how there could be different sizes of infinity, which seems in itself to be a paradox. After all, infinity is supposed to be infinitely large, right? But doesn't it seem that the web-like type of infinity would be much larger than the linear type of infinity? If we were to draw the infinities, it seems like the linear infinity is two-dimensional, or bi-directional in structure, whereas the web infinity has depth and height in multiple, infinite directions. Which makes web infinity seem just so much infinitely larger than the linear infinity; the whole concept rather blows my mind, and is clearly difficult for me to define. Smart people say that if you can't state something simply, then you don't really understand it, and unfortunately, those smart people are right.

Well, I felt like I was onto a breakthrough, but now I'm lost.

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